[AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was the original letter I wrote to a company selling a course that… didn’t work for me. Keep reading to find out why. (Sigh.)]
Hello again, friends! I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I must also request a refund for Singing From Scratch; the warm-up “Affirmation Song” exercise contains offensive phrases I cannot sing or even listen to.
“I trust the journey” (should I not be trusting The One Who Designed the journey? The journey is a scallywag…or has no agency or ability to do anything, much less lead me, much less be worthy of my trust. I wouldn’t and couldn’t trust this “journey” as far as I could throw it.)
“I control my mind” (I couldn’t control my own mind even if I wanted to, lol. I can’t control my emotions (Hallmark Card adverts make me cry), and I couldn’t control my appetite at the buffet earlier this evening.
And even if I could control any or all of that stuff on my own, we just trusted the inanimate “object” of “journey” not two minutes ago, which means I didn’t get control of anything for very long, since I’ve now apparently surrendered my free will to this leaderless “leader” of a journey.)
“Healing all my scars” (If I am powerful enough to heal myself, I’d rather just protect myself from injury in the first place. Though, every wound I’ve sustained in this life hath led me to a lesson I’d otherwise never have been able to stomach–or understand. (And btw, there are scars and then there are wounds…)
That all said, though, “By His Stripes, we are healed!” (From going to hell, that is. Meaning YES, I am healed for eternity “from being held responsible for my sins,” by Accepting The PRECIOUS Sacrifice and Blood Of Jesus–God The Son–Whom I’ve asked To Be/come LORD of my life. So this healing looks like “Sally be SAVED,” aka SALVATION (HALLELUJAH and PRAISE TO MY REDEEMER AND SAVIOUR! :)))) <3 <3 <3
THAT all said, don’t for a second believe anyone who informs you that saying “By His Stripes we are healed!” over a person’s physical health GUARANTEES their physical healing. (Some recite and “confess” this and expect it to happen, others fast and pray and “believe for” this miracle or others. When it DOES happen, they are applauded for their “faith,” and when it doesn’t, “they didn’t believe hard enough.” Miracles aren’t about us, they’re about Him.
Further, the whole “fasting and praying for my spouse/a better job/that HOUSE!/”BREAKTHROUGH“/et al” is actually WITCHCRAFT. (Fasting to get closer To God is NOT witchcraft, though. But like “I shall fast this month and God WILL make MY WILL come to pass! And on my timeline!” aka LITERALLY. I was INTO witchcraft and the occult for YEARS, bro. “As I will, so let it be!” This is the very DEFINITION of witchcraft!)
Think about it: one hath DECIDED what he wants or deems necessary for his life, and behaves in a “prescribed manner” in order to “appease” (bribe) or “beg” (hunger strike) or “convince” (con) THE ALMIGHTY LORD OF THIS UNIVERSE into doing MY will?
And I am just a human who doesn’t know SQUAT at all, much less when compared With I AM (aka THE GREAT I AM)… and *I* think I have ANY business at ALL trying to “change His Mind”– which is likely already Made Up (He Knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning, PRAISE TO HIS HOLY AWESOMENESS AND POWER! WHOOO!! YAY FOR YAHWEH! <3 <3 <3 !!) ??
*I*, a mere human, a speck of animated DUST, am trying to “twist The ARM Of The GOD Of Angel Armies” or to “force The RIGHTEOUS RIGHT Hand Of” Almighty God” ? (Not only does this NOT WORK–not that I’ve ever tried such–but it’s VERY unwise, my friend; Any Being Who Wrote “Thou shalt have no graven images beside Me” and “Thou shalt have NO OTHER GODS beside Me!” would NOT be happy to get treated as though He Is Santa Claus or the genie from Aladdin. (Have I shared my Andie Letter yet?)
This life is DIFFICULT, baby!–He Even SAID it would be filled with storms!!–and even if we’ve made flawless health-related choices all our lives, “AGE” be the great equalizer, it could be argued (not that a creepy birthday of mine be fast-approaching or anything, lol :)
Also, some of us were born with physical conditions. (Some of us have 49. Ahem.)
And regardless of HOW we got “not perfect, health-wise,” the truth is that God’s Will is NOT always physical healing.
Would you stay With Jesus if God Said No to healing?
Paul THRICE requested the removal of his “thorn in the flesh,” which got a “Nope, lovey! But your weakness shows My STRENGTH, baby boy!” so, there you are. (aka GOD IS SOVEREIGN and Has Plans we know naught of! And even if we did, could we understand them? And even if we COULD, do we have the RIGHT to even ASK for anything at ALL, much less if we haven’t submitted our will To Him and Made Him LORD Of our lives? (Pro Tip: God ROCKS, and He IS definitely LOVE, and He IS of course our Matchless and MIGHTY Creator! You ARE one of God’s MASTERPIECES!
That Said, we are NOT all “God’s Children.” He MADE us, but we don’t get to call The Father ABBA (Daddy) if we didn’t say YES To His GENEROUS Offer of Kindness, Redemption, SALVATION, and ADOPTION, aka SONSHIP, aka not just “His Creation” anymore, but a JOINT-HEIR With JESUS! Not just in blessings and YAYs, tho, but also in His SUFFERING as well. “If they hated ME, do you think they’re gonna join your fan club, lovey?”
Life is hard enough in the BEST of times (whether one believes The actual TRUTH, aka God IS, or whether one allowed his pain to lead him into the La La Land Opiate of Random Chanceness, aka “either God CHOSE this for me, or ALLOWED it to happen or not happen, or THIS IS A RESULT OF MY DECISION—or someone else’s–or “the cosmic dice keep on tossing themselves, and I kept getting the worst numbers, man!”… it’s like… if He Chose it for some reason, then, like, let Him Do His Job, you know? He SOVEREIGN, yo! We don’t GET a say! And may I say–it’s ALWAYS BETTER that way!
Most of the things I wanted or thought I wanted at the time (or wanted even after it was PROVEN that my choice would have ruined more than just my life) came with costs or consequences that weren’t visible when I was whining about what I wanted. (Or weaving various, nefarious schemes to make the thing happen, lol. Which sometimes “works,” and sometimes doesn’t. Sometimes, we don’t feel the heat and pay the piper until later; sometimes, He blocks it altogether. And sometimes, He LETS us give in to the demonic temptations and actually get more-than-surface-level INTO something that He does NOT Want for us–He BEGS us to not destroy ourselves, but sometimes we don’t understand being CLEAN until we’ve fallen (or thrown ourselves) into filth for a while. (This doesn’t rock, btw, and even though He DOES Take you back afterwards, you STILL have to deal with the consequences… to your health, to your relationships, to your life…)
That all said, I do TRULY thank GOD For Having BLOCKED (several) of them things–and for showing me what WOULD have happened “if only,” aka if that wish had come true. Sometimes I was like “what was I THINKING, man??” right after I dodged a bullet. Other times, I was grieved for months or years about losing a chum who was leading me down a dark path–even when I knew they were bad news. Like, I KNEW it was “for the best,” but it still hurt, you know? Especially when I think back to the times when He SAID “I do NOT WANT you talking to that person anymore!” and I was like “pleeease GOD, they rock!! Kinda!” And He’s like “Um, NO, baby!” and I’m like “ok, they’re actually DANGEROUS to be around, but… how can I say farewell? Even tho I KNOW they’re harming me, my health, and my relationship With You, LORD? I don’t have the strength. Can YOU do something about it, then? OOOH, MAYBE THEY’LL GET SAVED!!” and they didn’t get saved, but they DID go from being super-invested in our friendship or our business…to “Um, I can’t talk to you anymore, Sally Sall. Sorry, it’s been REAL!” like 15 minutes after I’d prayed that.
(Sigh but) a HUGE Thank GOD! His Vision Is SOOOO much better than mine! And even if the thing I wanted was something that He didn’t mean for me, have I not surrendered my free will To Him? Of course I have. So I trust that what He Chose for me will be what’s BEST for me–but more so, that it will bring Him The MOST GLORY–and will also PLEASE Him the most! And that’s all I care about.
He Made EACH of us with a PURPOSE, see.
If He had Intended for me to be a BROOM to clean stuff up, but I was fixated on being GLITTER coz I wanted to SHINE–or just to “make things better” by BRIGHTENING things up…well, things might LOOK better, but under the sparkle would be hairballs and dust and dirt and half-dried blobs of bubble gum and…
I mean, you can TELL when someone’s put makeup over a blemish, or deodorant over long-unwashed underarms, you know? Even “antibacterial” stuff doesn’t make my hands feel CLEAN; they might not have germs, but they don’t feel FRESH, either. The grime is still there. Because it wasn’t made to CLEAN skin, just to kill whatever contagions they plastered all over the bottle.
“Trusting in the universe” (Um, if I don’t trust a leaderless journey to lead me, ain’t no way in Gehenna1 that I’m trusting either a dark void with planets in it, OR the planets themselves (whassup, Sephiroth <3) with my life, my decisions, my scars, my journey, my mind, my anything.)
I thank you for your assistance and I thank you for understanding.
Best wishes,
Sally B.
METANOiA Means 