(I originally wrote part of this for Brandon, who runs a dating group, and hath been seeking a wife or woman for quite a while.)

If you seek His Will for your life and are willing to submit your timeline To Him then He Will Bring her to you once He Thinks both you and the lady are ready.

I had said “God, I actually don’t want to marry coz I want to serve You and work on the projects and ministries You Entrusted me with!”

And He’s like “ok thanks girl”

And He Told me that I had to be walking in my Calling before the end of the year. (Not “famed and fabled” at it, but “release first record by 27 December 2023.”)

In my experience (I have counseled both couples and people hoping to marry for over 20 years now) the main thing that prevents people from being ready (In His Eyes) to marry is that they are holding on to something.

Something that will sabotage the relationship before the couple gets to their wedding day.

For some it’s unrepentant (or just ongoing) spicy stuff (if you get my meaning).

For some it’s spending as though one doesn’t plan to marry. (Pretend you’re married and stop buying anything that isn’t food and soap. It’s sooo difficult to suddenly on the wedding day stop all “fun” expenditures. Ask me how I know 😭

You might be saying “but it will take time to change.”

Yes. God Told me to take a year off of talking to ANY boys after He Got Rid of ALL ungodly stuff in my life. And some “secular but not satanic” stuff, too.

When I met my now-husband, he was actually possessed by unclean spirits and was into some really dark stuff.

God Tells him to cut it all out and also take a year off of talking to girls. But it was too late, we already liked each other. Lol.

So I waited an extra year for him. And we both underwent intense discipleship training during that time.

Because he had to be rooted in his FAITH in God, but also his relationship WITH God. Or else it would have been unequally-yoked. (Which can also be about your Godly Callings, not just your levels of faith. If I had to go on tour all year and he had to pastor a church here at home… you know? But we match! Because HE Is our MatchMaker!! Praise Be To Him :))))) Sweet LORD Of Love :)) 🙏♥️✝️♥️🙏

For those of you lamenting your “advanced” age, I was 45 when we met, 47 when we married, and I just turned 48. We eloped 11 months ago today. (And I got disowned, lol.)

BUT. I know this is the man God Chose and Made for me.

He was worth the wait.

And he was worth all the hard work of learning how to be a wife (again, before we even met).

Get ready for her by learning how to be a great husband.

In my experience, most people on dating sites or even social sites aren’t serious enough about marriage… because it’s ok with them to chat or talk or video chat and the weeks turn to months.

Brandon, my brother… you aren’t indecisive. The second you meet the girl He Made for you, you will sell everything you own to get a safe place
for your Pearl of great price.

My husband lived in his mom’s house until the week before we married. The second we met he put in his two weeks notice.

Before that he said “we can meet in dec of 2025.”
I was like um no. (That was over a year away!)

I would not be strung along! (Been there, done that. Though I’m glad that string-fest didn’t work out. Even though in one regard, it would have been ok. But in all others… )

Even if it was due to fear of doing something different or lack of family support. He Said this Is my husband. And Behold! He did a new thing in both our lives. (Praise To Him!)

What I’m trying to say is that if one doesn’t act as though ready for the blessing to drop from the sky, that’s showing a lack of faith that He Will Drop her into your life.

And please know that there is naught like the pain of feeling the person in your bed is not for you—or FOR you. Some are married and very lonely. Can’t be themselves. Can’t be trusted. Can’t trust.

And if one thinks every single couple automatically has an easy or fun time behind closed doors, think again. People have to work at that, too, before it goes like clockwork and even then some struggle with elements of it (including the emotional connection).

In sum, human relationships are so significant To God. And accordingly, we must entrust Him with them and follow His Will for our lives.

I pray for each of you who struggle with not having met God’s best for you—and who haven’t begun to become His Best for you.

I pray for each of you who struggle with and in a relationship that is NOT a proper Covenant With God and the one He Chose for you.

To those lamenting lack of dating experience… I’d not have married my husband if he’d not been pure. To me, it was like buying the lipstick tester in the mall. Be strong In The LORD and He Will Direct your path!! ♥️🙏✝️

Love,

SB